when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
