i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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