He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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