he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
