when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
