Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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