More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize