some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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