HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
