scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
