Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
