So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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