One girl and one boy is just not enough.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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