so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
