SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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