SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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