I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
