i need an iv and a liver transplant
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize