oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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