You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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