i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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