He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
