As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize