And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
