In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
