so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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