Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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