I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
