Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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