I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
