lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
