I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
