The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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