By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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