she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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