if i can run in heels then i can drive
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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