I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize