I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
