We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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