then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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