cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she peed on how many people?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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