some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
