I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
