I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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