Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
