now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize