I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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