honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
