I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
