Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
