y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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