Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
