Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
