he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
