So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
