on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
