do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
