I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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