I CAN MOONWALK!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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