She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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